School...and all the Tears...

This week is the first long week of school....between staggered entrance for Kindergarten, Earthquakes and Hurricanes it has been a little tough completing a week of school.

Yesterday I put Lily on the bus - she was in total hysterics - I was in a cold sweat and on the verge of tears....This was NO picture perfect moment!

As soon as I loosened her grip on my rain coat and exited the bus, I busted out in tears. It was horrible, and still feels horrible....just thinking about it makes me tear up. I have never had a child go through this before. I know she has an issue with separation anxiety....but I prayed this wouldn't happen! I prayed that she wouldn't feel the anxiety each day....but it is happening. Most people don't believe me when I tell them she has a bit of a "separation" issue. They usually look at me as if I am crazy... right up to the moment when they see her white knuckles attached to my clothing! She is such a happy little girl, so funny and full of excitement! But only after she gets comfortable with her surroundings....and usually only if there is a "familiar" face with her.

I don't negotiate when it comes to situations like this. I have to stand firm....while my knees are weak and my stomach is flopping around like a fish out of water....I can't give in. They (all the professionals...) tell me it is the wrong thing to do....so, I just cry all day thinking about it! I can't help but worry if she is feeling sad or scared. It is causing me just as much anxiety as it is causing her!

I fretted all day...worried about how she was feeling. When she finally came home, she was just as happy to see me as I was to see her. Her sweet little face was priceless coming off that bus. She still was pretty unhappy about her ride to school...and about having to stay there all day...but she was very happy to be home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that she had to go back tomorrow....

I pray tomorrow goes better.....praying.....really - really hard!